Motivate Your Child, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller

     After years of searching, I have finally found the parenting resource I've been looking for.  Motivate Your Child is the first tool I've seen that finally acknowledges that the conscience of a child needs to be trained before your child is expected to know right from wrong.  Other, more popular, parenting programs assume that your child already has this skill.  And that's a fail, in my opinion, because kids don't always know right from wrong in every occasion.  And for the teachers who are reading this, you already know that there are kids who almost never know right from wrong.  

     This book won't get the credit it is due (A) Because it doesn't have a catchy title and (B) It doesn't have a marketing machine getting it in the hands of every parent and teacher in the country.  What it does have is a keen understanding of what makes children and teens tick.  So it's definitely worth more than a look.

     Here's what you'll get from reading this book:
-    A discussion of a child's conscience and why it needs to
     actually be trained before you can expect a child to
     understand society's rules.

-    An understanding that strong-willed children are already
     internally motivated to do what they want and will naturally

     challenge any other system of reward and consequence

     (even natural consequences) that are put on them.  

-    A guide toward helping your child develop the ability to

     question his/her motives in a difficult situation and to

     analyze not just the appropriateness of his actions, but to

     determine what a better choice would have been.

-    A discussion of natural vs. logical consequences and in

     what cases each technique is more appropriate than the

     other.

-    A guide toward helping your child become a person of  

     integrity who is able to make choices that are best for him

     or her independent of a parent telling them what to do

     every step of the way.

     This is a Christian book.  The second half of the book is a wonderful resource on how to bring more spirituality into your family without being overbearing about it.

     However, the tools in the first half of the book are relevant to anyone, Christian or not.  I personally used suggestions from the first half to help some of my students learn how to make better choices in social interaction.  It worked better than any other technique I've tried in over 15 years of teaching.  

     I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with children.  These authors understand kids better than any other I've read.

     Disclaimer:  I was provided this book by the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review.

     Five out of Five Stars

How Children Succeed, by Paul Tough

            Paul Tough's How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character is an eye-opening look at what causes students to not only attend college, but to graduate from college.  This book is a must-read for educators and parents alike.

           Reading this book, I felt like Tough was writing what I've been thinking for years.  Intelligence is certainly a key factor in student success, but it isn't everything.  We all know extremely intelligent people who have floundered through life, allowing drugs and other addictions to take the place of worthwhile pursuits.  And we all know less intelligent people who have done extremely well in their chosen fields. 

            What makes the difference?  Tough examines anecdotal evidence and research alike to come to the conclusion that it is character traits that cause people to succeed - not just at college, but in life in general.  These character traits aren't just morals like honesty and generosity.  They are things like stick-to-it-ness (grit), curiosity, and a strong work ethic.

            This book does not answer the question of how to teach people these traits.  But it makes a strong case that they can be learned.  Anyone who does not understand why education is so deeply linked to psychology will learn a great deal from this book.  It is a wonderful springboard for a vital conversation - what should we be teaching our children.

            Well done, Mr. Tough.  Someone finally said it!

Five out of Five Stars

The Christian Mama's Guide to the Grade School Years, by Erin MacPherson

The Christian Mama's Guide to the Grade School Years, by Erin MacPherson, is a humorous account of what it is like to usher a child into the first few years of school.  It is a book geared toward prayerful parenting, and one that many parents would enjoy reading.  It has great ideas, and is certainly written from a meaningful Biblical perspective. 

That being said, it is really less of a guide and more of a parenting memoir.  There are very good ideas in this book, but they are peppered in between lengthy stories about the author's own family.  These stories are cute and can help a parent feel better about not being the only one who is dealing with these kinds of issues, but they can be distracting to a reader who is looking for a more meat-and-potatoes kind of guide.  Even that kind of information skews toward the more humorous side, which can detract from the message.

The author has been a high school teacher and has interviewed people who are experts - the "From the Principal's Office" sections by an experienced principal are the best parts of this book.  But coming from a Christian mother who is also a grade-school teacher, some of the points dealing with school in this book are under covered and even inaccurate (for example, not all private schools give your child access to state-of-the-art techniques - some are so underfunded that students get a substandard education).

The bottom line?  If you're looking for a heavier guide, this isn't the book for you - but you will still get very good parenting tips.  If you're looking for a humorous memoir that will help you get your child ready to enter kindergarten - or help you improve your parenting skills (and can't we all?), then this is the book for you. 

Disclaimer:  I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Four of Five Stars